Shoppers Haul                              

“Tough Love” ~ Not So Easy But Necessary!


The term tough love may not be all that familiar these days. Many years ago, the term tough love indicated a need for an individual to exude a stern, firm, and sometimes harsh demeanor toward a loved one. Was this so that the individual could be abusive? Most certainly not – tough love has the best interests of a loved one at heart whether it be our children, family member or friend.

Nowadays, tough love may not be all that well known, but it is making a comeback. It’s a method of loving someone, but not enabling them.  Putting up healthy boundaries and having them suffer consequences of their actions are just two examples of tough love.

Tough love is used in many ways and for many individuals.

Parents of Teenagers

A teenager has to struggle through the rite of passage from puberty, through the teen years, and right into adulthood. And right there suffering with them, are their parents.  I’ve gone through this 3 times … and it didn’t get any easier for us.

We all know teenagers that have pulled a few stunts here and there. This may even bring back memories of a few we pulled ourselves. We all probably know someone who has a child (or maybe they even did this themselves when they were a teen) who took the family car out for a spin without anybody knowing about it.

Tough love comes into play when you make your teens accountable for their actions.  Taking away things from our kids when trying to teach accountability often ends up being harder on us then it is on the kids.  My son actually did take the car without permission when he was 16 and to make him accountable we restricted car usage which meant we had to shuttle him around which was hard on us as parents, but in the end, it was a way to try and teach him accountability for his actions.

Loved Ones with Addictions

For loved ones with addictions, tough love can be brutal. There are many support groups that will prepare you for dealing with this:

* Drub rehabilitation centers
* Alcoholics Anonymous
* Counseling
* School counseling
* Group therapy

These are all ways to find and discover more about tough love for loved ones with addictions.

Sometimes the best and first step to using tough love with a loved one – no matter the scenario – is to stop enabling them, let go, and seek the help that both you and they need


Add Your Comment